


Rejazz

by LookingToEscape



Category: Open Heart (Visual Novels)
Genre: Angst, Bitterness, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Loneliness, Lost Love, M/M, Optimism
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:21:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,675
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27053311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LookingToEscape/pseuds/LookingToEscape
Summary: Matthew Valentine's second year at Edenbrook didn't quite start out as he had hoped. Now he is left picking up the pieces of a broken dream. Luckily, his friends are always there to help.
Relationships: Rafael Aveiro/Main Character (Open Heart), Rafael Aveiro/Original Character(s), Rafael Aveiro/Sora, Sienna Trinh & Main Character (Open Heart)
Kudos: 3





	Rejazz

**Author's Note:**

> This was something I wrote way back when, at the beginning of the first Open Heart: Second Year hiatus. I was torn between which love interest to start with...started with Ethan...during the hiatus I replayed with Rafael because I was hurt but intrigued by the introduction of Sora. (...Also apparently I'm only attracted to men I can't have). It could have been an interesting storyline if Sora were actually developed as a character and not just an obstacle between Raf and MC.
> 
> The title is from the song 'Rejazz' by Regina Spektor. I think the sentiment is the same :)

Matthew Valentine closed his eyes and gritted his teeth as he waited out his current situation. The grunting of his 'catch of the night' was getting faster and faster and then, with a grunt and a gasp, the deed was done. There was a few minutes pause as the two of them caught their breath. Matthew lay on the edge of the mattress and glanced around the room. When his gaze travelled to the corner he sorely wished he hadn't; there was a small pile of something that looked suspiciously like mice droppings. 

"Not bad," the other man said, gruffly. "You don't give much, though. You're pretty passive."

Matthew turned to look at him. His companion for the night was shorter than him, but chubby, with a buzz cut and a little too much body hair than Matthew preferred. He hadn't come across as charming and, from what Matthew could see, he was far too used to his own company.

The other man now wiped his brow with the back of his hand and yawned loudly. "I don't remember the last time I had drinks and sex but, damn, it makes me sleepy. I'm gonna turn it, help yourself to whatever. And the couch gets comfy."

"How generous," Matthew said, but could barely scrape any emotion into his voice. Not even mild annoyance at the guys lack of bedside manner. "Hey, what's your-" but a loud snore drowned out the rest of the question. Matthew had intended to ask for the man's name but apparently he hadn't been wrong about sex and alcohol making him drowsy. 

Matthew turned to look at his companion, without the fuzz of alcohol in his brain now that the joyless sex had sobered him up. The man was lying, stark naked, spread out on his side, his mouth wide open and a string of drool was already forming. This was the man Matthew had given himself away too. He really had hit rock bottom. And suddenly, Matthew was filled with shame.

He hastily dressed and left the room, closing the door behind him. The snoring made it shake in its frame. 

Stepping out into the apartment, Matthew flipped on the light (which was a bare bulb hanging from the ceiling). Definitely built for a single person--or maybe a young couple, madly in love and just starting their journey together with many promising years ahead of them--it was merely a living area and kitchenette with a shower room off to one side. Matthew swallowed, and headed for the kitchenette for a cup of coffee. 

There was a pile of stained dishes in the sink and Matthew idly wondered if the stuff at the bottom had been there long enough to rust. Pots and pans were stacked along the counter, and utensils were scattered everywhere. Take-out boxes from various restaurants were piled up in corners. The whole place seemed to be giving off a weird smell. Sienna would have thrown up at the sight.

Matthew looked through the cupboards gingerly, but was surprised to find an abundance of clean mugs. _I guess buying a fresh one is one way to avoid washing up_ he thought as boiled the water, added instant coffee powder, and went to the fridge for milk. 

He recoiled instantly. The fridge smelled horribly like rotten cheese, he could see the date on the milk was three days ago, and there was a raw chicken breast sitting exposed in the middle of the fridge. 

Matthew slammed the door shut, stumbling backwards and tripping over his own feet in his haste, landing on a thin carpet covered in dubious stains. His first thought was to cleanse and he stumbled towards the shower room and turned on the light. Again, he retched. 

The toilet wasn't flushed and there were yellow piss stains along the seat and walls. There were dark, wispy hairs along the bottom of the shower and along the sink. The toothpaste was half open and squeezed, which had attracted a number of ants to the sweet, sticky substance. Ironically, the toothbrush itself was bone dry.

Another snore shook the apartment. Rain started at the window, a gentle patter at first that quickly descended into a full-on rainstorm. 

_Fuck it_ Matthew thought. _Anywhere's better than here_. He was probably contracting SARS or Cholera or TB just by standing there. He turned and stumbled out of the apartment into a draughty hallway before running down three flights of stairs that smelled of urine and vomit. 

The rain felt extremely refreshing, and Matthew took a minute to just stand with his arms out, head turned to the sky, getting absolutely drenched, but gasping for fresh, clean air. 

Stuffing his hands in his pockets, Matthew headed back in the general direction they had come. He hadn't been so far gone that he had ignored his surroundings. At least, not by blood alcohol level. 

Matthew had finished work that day and headed to Donahue's with Bryce and Elijah. It had been a relatively good day; he had made the correct diagnosis on several tricky cases and seen his new intern kicking medical ass, and as the three of them had headed for the bar he had felt more positive than he had done for a long while. And then he had casually glanced behind him, only to see Rafael smiling his handsome smile at Sora as she ran into his arms and all the pain came flooding back.

Bryce and Elijah hadn't seen this and Matthew didn't want to lower the mood by bringing it up--after all, he should have moved on by now, it wasn't like he and Rafael had ever made it _official_ or anything--but his good mood had vanished and instead he had just felt empty. Elijah had suggested darts, Bryce was up for it, and Matthew suggested he would by another round. That was when the catch of the night had stumbled into him, already drunk.

The catch had leered and suggested and Matthew had stopped caring about anything. So he had let the man kiss beer-stinking kisses all over him before dragging him back to that petri-dish of an apartment building. 

"I probably caught so many diseases I will be hospitalised for life," Matthew said aloud as he walked. "And who will wait at my bedside for hours after their shift? Who will climb into bed beside me? Who will order me my favourite food even though it's strictly against hospital policy and you could get in huge trouble for it? Well, I know who WON'T be doing that!" He threw out his arms again and shouted into the air: " _WAS I NOT THE ONE WHO PERFORMED LIFE-SAVING SURGERY ON YOU WITH NO TRAINING?!_ "

Matthew took a few more steps but then caught his foot on a broken pavement slab and went head over heels. He didn't try to move.

"Look at Dr Valentine now," he muttered. "Top of his class at medical school, nationwide. Top intern at Edenbrook. Youngest member of the most elite diagnostics unit in the country. Colossal pain in the ass. Standby surgeon. Patient killer. Couldn't keep a good man so gave himself away to the worst of them." Matthew suddenly began to cry. 

The rain continued to lash down, soaking him even further. He was aware that his ankle hurt like mad and he didn't need to look to know he had various cuts and bruises.

Matthew slowly pulled himself up into a sitting position and managed to take in his surroundings through his tears. He was in a residential area, a tree-lined road surrounded by small houses. Some houses had the bedroom curtains drawn but the lights on behind. Probably two people snuggling together after making love. Exchanging gentle caresses and sweet nothings. A small smile and a meaningful look over the rim of a teacup.

"What did I do to turn you away, Raf?" Matthew sobbed. "Why did you do this to me?"

He hugged his knees to his chest as his tears eventually slowed. He couldn't cry forever, not even when it seemed like the pain would never end. He took a deep breath to collect himself, and carefully pulled himself to his feet. He yelped when he first put weight on his ankle, but he would be able to walk on it. His surroundings were definitely familiar. He would be able to walk from here.

It took another half hour before the bright lights of the hospital that had become his second home blinked into view. He stumbled through the doors into the atrium, soaked to the bone and numb with cold. He shuffled to the reception desk but stopped short when he saw Harper Emery at the desk, examining a chart. She glanced up and her mouth dropped open in shock.

"Dr Valentine? Are you..."

"Can I just have a first aid kit, please?" Matthew asked politely. He swallowed back the lump in his throat, took another steadying breath and lifted his chin a little. 

Harper took in his little show of strength, his torn, bloody clothes, and the mud that caked him from head to foot. But she what concerned her most was his eyes: red and wet with his eyelashes spiked.

"Go to the on-call room and take a shower," she said, unusually gentle. "Feel free to change into dry scrubs, and I'll bring you a first aid kit in a few minutes."

Matthew thanked her and shuffled towards the on-call room. Dr Emery's concern had caught him by surprise and, to his horror, his bottom lip was trembling. Occasionally he passed another staff member who gave him a startled look and stopped watching where they were going. 

The on-call room was mercifully empty. Limping into the shower room, Matthew flinched when he caught sight of himself in the mirror. _I look terrible_ he thought, taking in his bedraggled hair, his flushed and tear-stained face, the mud that coated him. _No wonder people have been giving me a wide berth._

The shower felt good, Matthew scrubbed off the feeling of the drunk man and his apartment as the mud, blood and rain was washed away.

He dried off and took Harper's advice to wear clean scrubs. She had left a first aid kit on one of the beds whilst he was showering, and he methodically started applying antiseptic to the worst of his cuts.

"Matthew?"

Matthew looked up from binding his ankle. Sienna was standing in the doorway, looking worried.

"I was on my way out when Dr Emery saw me and mentioned you'd be in here and might need some help," she looked him up and down. "Matthew, what happened?"

"I fell. I don't think I'm badly hurt. I'm just binding the ankle for safety really." Matthew sighed and then met Sienna's eyes. "I was running away from a really stupid mistake."

The tears that had threatened ever since he had returned to the warm, familiar hospital finally spilled over. Matthew hid his face in hands.

"Mattie, hey," Sienna said gently, using her affectionate nickname that she usually saved for when they were drunk. She sat beside him and pulled him into a hug, letting him cry on her shoulder as she rubbed his back and made soothing sounds.

"I just don't know what I did wrong," Matthew choked out. "Everything was so _right_. I was high as a fucking kite and everyone knew it, even my patients. I was falling in love but now it's like a rug's been pulled out from under me." 

"Landing always hurts," Sienna agreed, sadly. 

Matthew gently lifted himself off Sienna and told her about the night; a good day at work, accidentally seeing Rafael and Sora together, and the subsequent downward spiral that had lead to him crying on the pavement in the rain.

"That apartment would have sent you running for the hills. I can't believe I let myself go that far. As soon as I realised how low I had sunk, I felt so ashamed." Matthew's breath caught in his throat and Sienna squeezed his hand.

"Honey, we've all made mistakes. But the important thing is that you're patched up, safe, and in one of the cleanest environments in the world." She nudged him and offered a gentle smile. "What do you say we go home, order too much food, and watch something on Netflix? I know you like that cartoon about the man with the horse head but I don't know if that's exactly what you need at the moment."

Matthew managed a weak smile. "OK. But only if you order pizza." Sienna laughed.

With the pizzas ordered--pepperoni for Sienna, barbeque chicken for Matthew, extra cookies for the two of them-- they slowly made their way out of the hospital. The rain had finally stopped. Sienna looked up at the sky where the moon was breaking through the clouds.

"The rain's stopped. It never lasts forever."

Matthew gave her a sidelong glance. "I know what you're getting at, Sienna."

"Well, it doesn't. It's just that some storms last longer than others."

"...Yeah."

They were home fifteen minutes later. "Hey, Matthew, where have you been?" Elijah gasped as he saw Matthew limping through the door. "You didn't answer your phone. Bryce said you might have gone off with someone hot."

"Well, it was a someone..." Matthew grimaced.

"Wait, what?" Jackie stood in her bedroom doorway and Matthew rolled his eyes. 

"Is Aurora here too, because if I have to relive tonight I don't want to do it more than once."

Jackie shook her head. "Aurora's at work all night. What happened and why are you so scratched up?"

Matthew told his friends about the gross man and his apartment. Elijah whistled. 

"Next time you get upset, I'd really rather you just tell us about it rather than hearing about you getting up in that kind of situation." 

"Yeah," Jackie frowned. "Why did you go off with a scumbag like that?"

Matthew hesitated but told them the truth. "I think I just wanted to feel something."

Elijah and Sienna both made sympathetic sounds and Sienna wrapped her arms around Matthew's waist. Jackie snorted.

"Next time you want to feel something, come to me and I'll knock you into your senses." She sighed. "Look, I have to get to work. But you and I are going to talk about this tomorrow." She made for the door but paused and put her hand on Matthew's shoulder. "Medical rankings and competitions aside, I care about you," She said firmly.

Before Matthew could say anything else, there was a knock at the door. Sienna rushed to answer it and came back bearing food.

"Pizza night without me," Jackie glared at the two of them but broke into a grin. "Save me a slice."

"I'll take some of those cookies and say no more about it," Elijah proposed.

"Deal." Matthew was smirking now.

He and Sienna moved into his room, watching classic _Friends_ episodes, eating until they were stuffed. Eventually Matthew leaned back on his bed.

"Why didn't he want me?" he said, softly.

" I don't know," Sienna curled up beside him. "But I do know that you're safe and warm and we all love you very much and we will do anything we can to make you happy. Don't ever forget that, Mattie."

Matthew smiled. "I won't. And don't you forget it, either. You're too good for types like Wayne."

Sienna laughed. "Oh, believe me, lesson well and truly learned." She moved off the bed and gathered up her leftovers. "Listen, you've got the day off tomorrow, right?" Matthew nodded. "Pamper yourself. Sleep. Relax. Eat. Drink a hell of a lot of water. Ooh, feel free to use one of my face masks!"

Matthew suddenly laughed--a real, genuine laugh. "Will do. Night, sweetness."

Sienna smiled at him as she left. "Night, hun."

* * *

The next morning, Matthew woke up just before 10 AM and took a few minutes to lie in bed and contemplate the events of last night. Sure, he had hit rock bottom, but he had somehow crawled his way back out with only minor injuries and a slight headache and a fierce reminder that his real friends had his back. As mornings after go, the regret was minimal. 

Matthew got up and dressed in his comfy clothes--tracksuit pants and the biggest sweater he could find--before picking up his leftover pizza and shuffling into the kitchen. His ankle didn't hurt quite so much.

Jackie was at the table, nursing a cup of coffee. She gave him a tired smile as he sat beside her and offered her the pizza box. 

"Sup Matthew," she said, helping herself to a slice.

"Sup yourself. Haven't you been to bed yet?"

"Nah. Came home about an hour ago but I have a shit load of stuff to do today. Oh, Sienna left you this." She indicated a piece of paper.

Sienna had left a glass of water, a box of painkillers and a note that said: _didn't know how you'd be feeling this morning but left you these, just in case. I highly recommend my seaweed face mask ;) see you tonight. Love you so much! xoxo Sienna_

Matthew chuckled at the rest of the note. Elijah had added _I love you too Matthew!_ Jackie had added _I love when you make me coffee_ and Aurora had added _You're OK..._

Matthew took some painkillers and downed the water before heading to the kitchen to make some tea and pour himself a bowl of chocolate cereal. "How was work?" he assked Jackie, casually.

"Fine. But let's talk about last night."

Matthew groaned, but Jackie put her hand up to stop him.

"You ended up in a terrible state, in a filthy apartment on the wrong side of town. You could have been badly hurt. That guy could have been a nutter and taken you down a back alley to be murdered. And that paramedic would be to blame. Hell, if you had broken your leg when you fell you'd have had no way of getting anywhere and, at best, would be being treated for hyperthermia as we speak. You give me one good reason why I shouldn't punch Rafael Aveiro in the face next time I see him."

"Because it wasn't his fault?" Matthew said pointedly and Jackie groaned loudly.

"Here's the thing, Matthew. You're going about your daily life, fine and dandy, enjoying the odd hook-up like everyone else. Then you cross paths with Aveiro and sparks fly but you don't hook up with him. Instead he flies you away in his helicopter and you hang out in hallways. You invite him to dinner with us, then go home with him to meet his grandma and dance in the streets like some romantic movie crap. Oh yeah, and you've assisted on his life-saving surgery. And Rafael is going along with all this like he feels the same as you do when this childhood sweetheart appears out of nowhere."

"Jackie, come on. He told me about Sora--"

"Did he though?" Jackie asked, with a raised eyebrow. "Because he never mentioned her until she had actually moved back to Boston. He had _literally never mentioned her once_ but suddenly he's second guessing everything and says he'll think and let you know. Except over the month he just sees you less and less and ghosts you for a few days only to come back with that crappy phone call just to say he wants to pursue a relationship with Sora." 

Matthew looked at the table. He couldn't say anything for a minute. 

"Admit it, Matthew. It was a shitty way for Rafael to handle the situation," Jackie said in a much softer tone. She took his hand. "You couldn't see yourself, but it was really scary. You started losing weight as soon as you realised he was getting quiet. And it was obvious you weren't sleeping properly. And for a while, you were so withdrawn. You became a shadow of yourself and none of us could do anything to help." Jackie's eyes suddenly filled with tears. "He straight up played you."

A tear dripped down Matthew's own cheek as he remembered how the fear had slowly set in like dark clouds over the horizon that got closer and closer until the storm cracked right overhead on the night he had gotten that last phone call from Rafael that had torn his heart to pieces. He had put on a brave face when speaking to Rafael but the minute the call ended he had broken down. 

But last night had altered his perspective. He wiped away the tear and managed to speak strongly. 

"I agree with you in part Jackie, but last night had nothing to do with Rafael. It was my choice to keep quiet about seeing him, and my choice to go off with the other man. Raf had no idea it was all happening."

Jackie sighed, and suddenly wrapped him in a tight hug. "Has anyone ever told you you're too nice for your own good?!"

"I'm pretty sure I had a hearing about it last year, remember?" Matthew said dryly, and they both managed a laugh.

"What's going on?" They looked up to see Aurora in the doorway, wrapped in a dressing gown and yawning.

"Oh hey," Matthew said. "Did we wake you?"

Aurora shook her head. "Don't worry about it. Is that pizza going spare?"

"Help yourself." Matthew nodded as Jackie stood up and stretched.

"I'm going to take my laundry to the laundry room and then I'm going for a run in the park. Or a nap under a tree. We'll see when I get there." Jackie grinned at the two of them as she grabbed a bag from her room. "See you two later."

Aurora took Jackie's vacated spot beside Matthew.

"I won't ask you about last night because you seem to have discussed it to death," she said, with a gentle smile. "But I'm glad you're alright."

Matthew returned her smile. "Thanks Aurora."

* * *

"Matthew!"

Matthew looked up to see Elijah wheeling himself into the living room. Elijah stopped dead. "What is that on your face?!"

Matthew held up a tube so Elijah could see. "Sienna said I could use her facemasks. Did you know this stuff is 100% cruelty-free, decreases the signs of aging, soothes wrinkles and works as an anti-inflammatory?" 

Elijah considered this as he wheeled himself closer and broke into a grin. "What are you waiting for? Let's share the magic..."

A little while later, Jackie walked through the door with her bag of now-clean laundry. Aurora followed, carrying grocery bags. Matthew and Elijah looked up to greet them and there was a pause as the two women took in the sight of the two men watching _Battlestar Galactica_ and wearing seaweed facemasks. 

"Matthew," Jackie said. "Break-ups suck, but if you start painting your nails I _will_ hold an intervention."

* * *

Later that afternoon, Aurora, Jackie and Elijah were on shift. Sienna had finished and was now napping on the sofa. Matthew was reading a medical journal when the doorbell rang. 

"Uh?" Sienna woke up suddenly as Matthew jumped to answer it.

"Hey stranger!" Bryce said in pleasant surprise. "Wasn't expecting to see you so soon after last night."

"Bryce, I did some things I would rather forget but I was not abducted," Matthew said, firmly. "Now apologise for waking Sienna."

"Oh man, sorry Sienna," Bryce gasped, meaning it. Sienna waved him away, cheerfully.

"Don't worry about it. Someone had to." She smiled at Bryce warmly. "Do you want to come in?"

"Actually I came to see if Matthew wanted to take a walk?"

"Oh! Uh, sure," Matthew said.

The two of them strolled along Boston Common. The sun was out after all the rain overnight but the grass was still damp and they stuck to the path. Around them, parents called for toddlers not to run through mud, and cyclists carefully zig-zagged around pedestrians. 

Bryce had been chatting about a heart surgery he was scheduled on in a few days. It was a major case and Bryce was expecting the surgery to last a good 12-18 hours at least.

"I don't think about time passing when I'm in the OR, but when it's finished I crash. Like, I suddenly realise I'm absolutely famished and have to consume 7000 calories at the same time as needing to collapse in a heap. Eighteen hours I can handle, but what will be interesting is if there are any complications that make the surgery last longer."

"I'd love to see the state you're in if it lasts twenty-four hours," Matthew sniggered. "We'll have to check the store cupboards in case you're asleep."

Bryce laughed and then grew thoughtful. "Do you think Dr Mirani ever got over seeing us in the store cupboard that time?"

"No." Matthew said. "Once I went into a cupboard for equipment and Raf had seen me and came by..." Matthew's voice trailed off as he remembered how Rafael had snuck up beside him and surprised him with a tender kiss on the cheek. He swallowed and carried on. "We got chatting for a few minutes and when we left the cupboard, Mirani was coming round the corner. He didn't say anything but he looked between us and gave me this really suspicious look before he did the 'I'm watching you' gesture and walked away." Matthew chuckled. "Raf was confused, but when I told him why he found it hilarious." The smile faded. Matthew sighed heavily. "Guess Dr Mirani doesn't have to worry about that from me now."

"Hey," Bryce nudged him gently. "That doesn't mean to say you can't blow off some steam in a very tough job. And a hospital cupboard is probably better than a dodgy apartment. Plus the other person would be substantially better looking." Bryce winked and then grew suddenly serious. "I know I'll never be Rafael but...if you wanted..."

"Oh god, Bryce, no!" Matthew cried out. "I'll not let you be my rebound. You deserve so much better than that. Don't lower yourself to someone so...broken." Matthew ran his hands through his hair and looked back at Bryce. "I don't want you to be Rafael, I just want you to be you. You're one of my best friends. That's all I need."

Bryce smiled. "As long as my charming company is all you need, I can do that," he said, confidently. "I just want to help."

"I know," Matthew said gently. He bit his lip. "The thing is, I can't think about hooking up anymore, not even to blow off steam. Like, it was so much better when I really liked the person...I don't want to go back to having a quick fling..." Matthew took a shaky breath. Bryce reached out and squeezed his shoulder.

"Listen. Everyone has there own way of dealing with things, and everyone heals in their own time. If you do get sad at any time, you won't bring the mood down if you talk about it. We'll just have to work harder to bring your mood back up."

Matthew raised an eyebrow. "Did Elijah tell you to come over here?"

"No!" Bryce put his hands up. "They told me about your escapades and mistakes, but coming over to see you was my decision. I care about you. We all do. And we're going to make you happy again or die trying."

Matthew smiled and gave Bryce a tight hug. "Thanks. But I'd rather none of you died."

"Me too, if we're being completely honest." Bryce patted Matthew's back and they pulled apart with a smile. "Want to grab a coffee? My treat. You've still got some weight to put back on if you don't mind me saying so."

Matthew laughed. "Oh geez, stop with the compliments, I'm blushing!"

But as he and Bryce left the common and wandered into the town, he knew he would be OK. Eventually. 


End file.
